


Touch me

by TrickyVicky3



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Smut, Suicide Attempt Mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 20:37:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11298381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrickyVicky3/pseuds/TrickyVicky3
Summary: The day after the bombing Toby tells his mother and Freddie that he's staying with a friend from school.His mother fusses, and Freddie looks disbelieving but eventually they let him go without a fuss, whereupon Toby promptly hauls his stuff to Adil's apartment.





	Touch me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prompt fill from Tumblr, Anonymous asked: Coul you write a smut one but they're at Adil's (after suicide attempt) not the hotel. 
> 
> I changed it up a little bit, some time has passed since the suicide attempt.
> 
> Also yes this title is from a Spring Awakening Song.

The day after the bombing Toby tells his mother and Freddie that he's staying with a friend from school.  
  
His mother fusses, and Freddie looks disbelieving but eventually they let him go without a fuss, whereupon Toby promptly hauls his stuff to Adil's apartment.  
  
It's barely been twelve hours since he left but as he makes his way up the creaky stairs and knocks on the hastily-fixed door Toby can't help the deja vu that floods through him.  
  
His knocking increases in volume as Adil takes his time answering the door, leaving Toby in a cold sweat.  
  
Eventually when the door swings open, Toby is met by a suspicious and rigid looking Adil, who, upon seeing Toby at the door, visably deflates.  
  
"Christ Toby"  
  
Adil grabs him by his sleeve and pulls him inside, shutting the door hastily behind them,  
  
"Knock a bit louder why don't you, I don't think enough of my neighbours heard my male lover making his presence known".  
  
Toby grins, placing his suitcase down by the door. "Sorry", he chews on his bottom lip absentmindedly, "You weren't answering the door and I just...".  
  
He trails off, eyes squinting at the wall behind Adil's head, unwilling to voice the rest of his thoughts.  
  
"I wouldn't do that Toby, not - not again" Adil refuses to meet Toby's eyes but Toby presses forward, tilting his head up until their eyes meet.  
  
"I know love, I know" He chooses not to comment on the moisture gathering in the corners of Adil's eyes and instead leans down, kissing Adil on the cheek before drawing him into a hug.  
  
\---  
  
"Thank you for letting me stay with you" Toby speaks up later that night as they eat together, cross legged on Adil's bed.  
  
"Toby of course" Adil frowns, placing his plate down on the bed behind him, Toby shifts but follows suit. Adil crawls towards Toby, taking his hands into his own, rubbing his thumbs over the soft skin of his palms.  
  
"I like having you here, it's -" he licks his lips, " I feel safer with you here".  
  
Toby shakes his head, bringing Adil's hands up to his mouth, kissing the backs of them softly. "I just - I don't want to crowd you after what-" he breaks off to lick his lips nervously, "I don't want to cause you any more harm".  
  
Adil's eyes soften and he leans forward, pressing a kiss to the corner of Toby's mouth, "You worry too much".  
  
Toby starts to protest but Adil kisses him again, effectively shutting him up.  
  
"Don't worry, I love you for it".  
  
He smirks when Toby blushes and leans over, grabbing both their plates and pushing Toby's at him. "Eat up, I paid good money for that".  
  
"Actually I bought thi-"  
  
"Shh" Adil laughs, mouth full, and goes back to eating; the both of them in better spirits than before.  
  
\---  
  
They quickly grow into a routine.  
  
Toby, having been allowed to resume his work with the Secret Service, leaves early and returns usually by five.  
  
While Adil, having found temporary bar work while the Halcyon is rebuilt, leaves in the early afternoon and arrives home in the early hours of the next day  
  
However, this endless circle means that as time passes they see less and less of eachother until all they have together are a brief press of lips and a few murmured endearments in the morning.  
  
As time passes even those fade away and Toby can't help watching Adil from the corner of his eye whenever they spend time together.  
  
He avoids touching him unecessarily, not wanting to push Adil after what he'd been through. After what Toby had put him through.  
  
When Adil initiates contact Toby cherishes it, making the most of each brief touch and every lingering kiss. But when they're alone, just the two of them, Toby won't seek him out, he can't bear it.  
  
In doing so he misses all the tortured glances. All the times Adil looks at him, only to look away before Toby catches him. He avoids meeting Adil's eyes, missing the pain within.  
  
\---  
  
This ends one morning when Toby wakes up to head to work. Adil is already up and waiting, sat on the end of the bed, his fingers toying repetitively with a loose thread on the blanket.  
  
He breathes out sharply through his nose and leans over, ringing work to inform them that he will not be in today; yes he's fine thank you Mrs Thompson, just feeling a little peculiar, no you don't need to bring round soup Mrs Thompson, yes he's sure thank you, goodbye.  
  
When he finally puts the phone down and meets Adil's gaze there is humour in his eyes, but it quickly fades away to something headstrong and serious.  
  
Adil clears his throat and turns his body more towards Toby, resting a leg up on the bed.  
  
"I'd like for you to touch me".  
  
Toby snorts, eyes flickering away from Adil's face then back. As the silence between them grows he shakes his head in disbelief.  
  
"Wait you're actually being serious"  
  
Adil's face contorts briefly, mouth twisting in barely concealed irritation "Yes i'm being serious".  
  
Toby makes an aborted move towards him, but pulls his arm back at the last minute. "I don't - I don't understand".  
  
Adil lets out a groan of frustration, moving to his feet to stand at the foot of the bed, "I'm not breakable Toby, if you touch me I won't suddenly be suicidal again, that's not how it works".  
  
Toby throws the covers off and stands, feeling oddly naked in his undershirt and shorts but wanting to be at equal height to Adil. He wraps his arms around his waist, hugging himself.  
  
"I don't know that do I? You only tried to do what you - what you did because of me! That's my fault and I didn't think -".  
  
He stands his ground, blinking back tears. "I didn't think about what I said, and how it would affect you! I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have".  
  
Adil rolls his eyes "Toby you're hurting me more at the moment, avoiding me? Making excuses not to touch me? That hurts".  
  
Toby swallows, moving slowly towards him, "I didn't mean to do that, i'm sorry".  
  
Adil shakes his head in exasperation, "I know that now. It just would have been nice to have been told in the first place"  
  
He reaches out to Toby who draws him in eagerly, arms wrapping around his shoulders, pulling him close to his chest.  
  
"I missed this" Adil sighs against Toby's neck, the puff of breath hot and prickly against his skin. "I missed you".  
  
Toby pulls back, hands moving to cup Adil's face tenderly, pulling him into a demanding kiss, he presses his thumbs along Adil's cheekbones, pushing him back until the backs of his knees hit the bed.  
  
Adil pushes Toby's shirt up, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his sleep shorts. Digging his fingers into the skin of Toby's hips, his hands tighten around the bones that stick out.  
  
"What time are they expecting you?" Toby pants into Adil's mouth, hands sliding around his neck and pressing softly, his fingers flexing.  
  
"Not till three" Adil licks his lips breathlessly, and Toby's eyes follow the movement closely.  
  
"Good"  
  
He recaptures Adil's lips, fingers closing over Adil's nightshirt and pulling it up over his head.  
  
Adil lifts his arms to accommodate him but as soon the shirt is off he wraps them around Toby's neck, drawing them impossibly closer together and kisses Toby hard, taking pleasure in the resulting moan that answers him.  
  
When he finally pulls away for air Toby is breathing heavily, his fringe damp with sweat, he pushes Adil down onto the bed rather forcefully and straddles him, running his hands over his chest methodically.  
  
Adil watches him through lidded eyes, his chest heaves, the movement causing Toby's hands to rise and fall with each breath.  
  
Adil's fingers find the hem of Toby's shirt again and he tugs it impatiently, a low whine escaping his throat. Toby smirks down at him in response, teeth glinting in the low light.  
  
Adil pushes up against him, exhaling loudly when his hips meet Toby's and he pulls on the shirt again, struggling to find his breath.  
  
"When I said I wanted you to touch me I also meant I wanted to touch you". He slips a hand under Toby's shirt and scrapes his nails along his abdomen, teasing him.  
  
"Let me touch you too" He punctuates his statement by rocking up again and running his fingers over one of Toby's nipples, eys glinting when Toby shudders in response.  
  
Toby doesn't reply but he does lean back and pull his shirt off all the way. Adil's eyes rake over Toby's chest and he brushes his hand up along Toby's neck and then through his hair, pulling tightly and relishing in the resulting moan it pulls from Toby's throat.  
  
Toby leans back down, pressing their bare chests together and caging Adil's head in between his arms.  
  
He kisses Adil forcefully once, twice, three times and breaks off with a breathy moan, pressing their foreheads together as they breath in the same air.  
  
"I missed this" Toby's throat convulses as Adil's fingernails scrape over the back of his head and he wriggles down Adil's body, pressing hot kisses to his neck.  
  
Adil squirms as Toby's mouth moves lower until he reaches the waistband of Adil's shorts and sits back up, fingers toying with it, dipping teasingly underneath to skim along the soft skin, pebbled with goosebumps.  
  
"I missed you" He says reverently, suddenly pulling back to pull Adil's shorts off all the way, quickly climbing back on top of him, unwilling to be away from him for too long.  
  
He slides his hand down Adil's chest and grasps Adil in his hand, sitting back on his thighs to watch his reaction. He watches through hooded eyes as Adil bucks shamelessly, fists clenching in the sheets.  
  
Toby moves into a pattern familiar to the both of them and rocks his body in time to meet Adil's thrusts, lips parted and wet.  
  
Adil strains upwards, meeting Toby's lips and pulling him down, hands moving from the sheets to scrape down his back, touching and grasping onto any skin available.  
  
Toby swallows Adil's moans, pressing their foreheads together, his hand, slick with sweat, speeds up and Adil arches under the touch, his whole body trembling with the effort.  
  
Toby swallows, his back muscles clenching as Adil's fingernails scrape over his shoulder blades. He presses himself against Adil, slotting their hips together and twisting his hand in a way that makes Adil squirm delightfully.  
  
He smiles against Adil's jaw and kisses along his pulse point, humming softly as his lips move along the vibrations in Adil's throat.  
  
He stays like that, his body bracketing Adil's until his body starts to tense, and the moans emitting from his throats turn into mindless mumbling.  
  
When Adil goes limp under him, Toby pulls back and rests on his heels, hands running along Adil's chest and down to his abdomen, pressing circles into his stomach, relishing in the breathless laugh he gets for his efforts.  
  
He leans back, searching for his earlier discarded shorts, letting out a noise of triumph when he finds them, bringing them forward to wipe at the mess on his hand.  
  
Once finished he throws the shorts over his shoulder, not bothering to see where they land as his eyes rake over Adil's body, shining with sweat and trembling in the low light.  
  
He bites his lip and runs a hand through his hair, slick with sweat, tucking his fringe behind his ear. When Adil catches his breath he leans forward, tilting his chin upwards, a clear invitation for a kiss.  
  
Toby meets him halfway, a moan spilling from his throat as Adil captures his mouth, arms wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer; slick skin meeting slick skin.  
  
Adil reaches around Toby, pulling his shorts further down so he can take Toby in his hand, bringing him close to the edge quickly, laughing into his mouth when Toby whines at the sudden engulfing warmth.  
  
He moves leisurely, basking in Toby's warmth, cataloguing every moan, every movement. And when Toby finally comes it's with Adil's name on his lips.  
  
Adil watches as Toby comes back to himself; full body shudders become small shivers, and struggled breathing becomes languid, a lazy smile washing over Toby's face as he leans down to kiss Adil again.  
  
Adil pushes at Toby's stomach with come covered fingers, "I need to get clean".  
  
Toby shakes his head, kissing Adil's cheek loudly, the smack echoing around the room, "Actually we need to sleep, then do some more of that".  
  
Adil raises an eyebrow, running his clean hand along Toby's cheek as he sits up "We just woke up love".  
  
Toby continues to smile, kissing at Adil's fingers when they stray too close to his mouth.  
  
"It's barely -"  
  
He reaches over to the bedside table to check his watch,  
  
"It's barely nine and you're not needed till three"  
  
He rolls off Adil, watching him clean his hand in the same pair of shorts he used earlier. Once Adil is done Toby pulls him back onto the bed and kisses behind his ear softly.  
  
"Besides-"  
  
He kisses him again.  
  
"I can think of more fun things to do than work right now"  
  
Adil turns to mock glare at him, "That was ridiculously cheesy, I can't believe I love you"  
  
Toby feigns hurt, "But you do love me".  
  
Adil rolls his eyes, settling against Toby, feeling secure in his arms. "Obviously".  
  
Toby kisses his neck again, settling his head behind Adil's on the pillow, "Obviously" he murmers, as Adil drifts off.  
  
The only sounds that greet him are the soft exhales from Adil as he finally succumbs to sleep, followed closely by Toby, who manages to reach down to pull the blanket over them both before he too, is overcome with sleep.  
  
.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is beautiful and so are you <3


End file.
